I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
