I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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