obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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