You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
