I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
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