In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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