How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
