similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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