I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize