I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
