we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
