Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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