but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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