"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
i've created a new STD.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
