and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
It's blow job season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize