You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
