I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
