So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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