It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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