I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
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