if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize