Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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