Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
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