Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
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