nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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