I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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