Nicole vs. Life
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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