He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
