we have officially lost it.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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