At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize