Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
