I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
