yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Randomize
