Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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