I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
