the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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