He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
