it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Mom said you looked used
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
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