Umm I'm too high to move.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Randomize
