We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Randomize
