In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
