have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
