I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
