I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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