we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
