We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Randomize