k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
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