he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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