If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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