So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Randomize
