I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
