not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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