My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
