that's an acceptable place to lick
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
