I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
operation have a gay friend backfired
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Randomize
