I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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