i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Randomize
