just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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