He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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