I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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