90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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