I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
