either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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