I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize