that's an acceptable place to lick
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
