I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
