Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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