We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Randomize
